My wife and I are in the process of building a home. As we looked at pictures of the framed walls and concrete floors, we dreamed of how we would furnish the home. How should we orient the couch? Where should we hang the painting we love?
I asked AI to generate images of what the unfinished rooms would look like when completed, and my wife made one request: French country style. In mere moments, we could see the soft colors and warm textures of our future living room.
I have used AI to help refine emails, conduct research, or even create a strategy for my fantasy baseball draft. As a pastor, I talk to people daily who share similar stories. They describe incredible efficiencies of AI that have freed up their time to work on things that require a human touch. I’ve even spoken with genuine AI experts who believe AI could help solve massive global challenges like nuclear fusion.
So, let’s be clear: I am not anti-AI. I don’t believe AI is inherently bad, and I don’t see AI going away. I am, however, deeply concerned about the impact that AI is having on human connection — and I am not alone.
In 2023, then-Surgeon General Vivek Murthy released an advisory highlighting that Americans are in a loneliness epidemic. He noted that one in two Americans reports measurable levels of loneliness. A more recent survey published by the American Psychological Association found that, out of 3,000 U.S. adults surveyed, 54% feel isolated. Perhaps even more alarming, 69% recognize their need for more emotional support than they are receiving.
People are only becoming lonelier, and they don’t know where to turn to meet their need for connection. This doesn’t just have mental or emotional consequences; loneliness is also associated with a higher risk of heart disease, stroke, and premature death.
According to the U.S. Surgeon General, this compares to smoking about 15 cigarettes per day.
While the term "loneliness epidemic might sound like hyperbole, it is a public health crisis. And it didn’t happen overnight. Many will recall the fond memories of playing with neighbors after school until their parents pulled them inside for dinner around the table, until social media exploded onto the scene.
I recall joining Facebook — it was incredible. All of a sudden, I was reconnected with distant cousins and old friends from high school. But somewhere along the way, our perception of connection shifted, potentially rewiring our brains. We confused the visible imagery, the pictures of vacations, and the life milestones with genuine relationships.
We sacrificed phone calls for digital messages. We shifted from verbally consoling our friends to a prayer emoji or a “liked message response.” We have become more connected than ever, yet we are more isolated than ever.
Now, we live in the world of AI, which has accelerated the loneliness epidemic. Academic research and published surveys highlight a growing trend of people seeking AI for companionship to combat their loneliness — from AI girlfriends to “counseling.” The AI “solution” comes with severe risk and heavy use leads to even deeper isolation.
In the past, people would go to a friend, parent, co-worker, counselor, or a pastor when they we were feeling lonely. Increasingly, people are going to AI.
That makes sense: AI is affordable, affirming, and always available. AI won’t judge you, hold you accountable, or challenge your point of view. Most importantly, AI won’t require you to be vulnerable.
Deep meaningful relationships take risks — vulnerability and commitment. AI comes woefully short in building relationships, but it still continues to attract more and more who are seeking the cure to their loneliness.
As we move forward in a world accelerated by AI, we have a choice to make. We can allow the digital landscape to shape our connections, or we can make subtle changes to remain grounded in community.
Pick up the phone, take someone to dinner, go for a walk, and talk about the challenges of the day. When someone asks you if you are “okay,” tell them the honest answer. In a culture that wants you to stay comfortable, put yourself in uncomfortable situations that require vulnerability. This yields the greatest upside for us — emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.
AI is valuable when you need help designing a future living room or crafting an email, so we can free up our time for matters that require a human touch. But we can’t allow it to replace our human connections. Even today’s most powerful AI pales in comparison to the power of humanity.
Michael Grayston is a campus pastor at LifeFamily Church in Austin, Texas.
