Take It From An Ex-Mormon: The Church's New Stance On Legal Gay Marriage is Misguided

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints just became a little less socially conservative and more politically correct, and long term, that's bad news for its already stagnant membership numbers. 

This month, the LDS church released a statement in support of the Respect for Marriage Act, a bill recently passed by the Senate which would require the federal government to recognize same-sex marriages. 

The move marks a turning point for what was once the most conservative religious group in the country. It is a signal to Mormons and non-Mormons alike that they are more interested in current cultural norms and preserving their U.S. membership numbers than in defending their doctrines.

The LDS church opened its statement with the claim that the church's doctrine "related to marriage between a man and a woman is well known and will remain unchanged." But then it goes on to explain that the church supports the Respect for Marriage Act because of its "religious freedom protections." In other words, so long as it doesn't happen in an LDS temple, the Mormon church is okay with same-sex marriage.

This tacit support is the church bending to cultural norms rather than staying true to its own doctrine. It seems like an attempt to preserve U.S. church membership, particularly among its Millennial and Gen Z members, who are much more likely to support same-sex marriage.

A cultural touchpoint for staunch social conservatism, the LDS church has supported political efforts upholding marriage between only one man and one woman in recent history. In 1994, leaders of the church opposed Hawaii's attempt to legalize same-sex marriage. The church supported criminalizing same-sex marriage in California in 2000 and 2008. In 2004 and 2006, the LDS church endorsed an amendment to the U.S. Constitution that banned all marriages except those between one man and one woman.

And at the church level, LDS leaders briefly instituted a policy in 2015 that prohibited children of same-sex couples from being baptized into the faith. The policy also stated that adult members in a long-term homosexual relationship were in "apostasy" and subject to a church disciplinary council – a condition which typically leads to ex-communication. This policy was revoked in 2019 and homosexual relationships are now officially considered "serious transgressions" rather than "apostasy," which means that homosexual couples are less likely to be ex-communicated than before.

But when it comes to member retention, it doesn't really matter what the church's stance on gay marriage is. Regardless of where it lands on the issue, flip-flopping policy is sure to drive truth-seekers away.

That's what first started me on the path away from Mormonism. The leaders of the church, the self-proclaimed mouthpieces of God, kept changing their stance on important issues. What else were they changing? While I ultimately resigned from the church for doctrinal reasons rather than social or historical ones, I found it concerning that "the only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth" kept changing its tune and gaslighting its members in the process.

Some estimate that only about one-third of U.S. millennial Mormons actually practice their faith, which could have led the LDS church to change its stance on gay marriage. The church cares deeply about its reputation, which is viewed more favorably by American believers and non-believers alike when it responds positively toward the LGBTQ community. But whatever short-term gain the church might get by accommodating current social pressures, a lack of consistency in defending church doctrine is sure to have consequences.

While the church's response to the Respect for Marriage Act has been applauded by many, it won't keep U.S. membership numbers up in the long run. If the church keeps up the gaslighting, the cognitive dissonance for devout, conservative members will be too great. Those looking for consistent doctrine will do what I did: wake up, walk out, and find a consistent church.