Choosing Love and Growth Despite Suffering
Many of us underwent a metamorphosis this year. Each of us was affected by great suffering and the events that transpired in this year alone. It is because of this suffering that we grew. We opened our minds to something that we cannot quite explain. We’ve awakened as a species. If you’re reading this, you have awakened – and you have a lot of work to do.
How Bamboo Grows and Suffers
Bamboo grows at a rate of about 1 mm every 90 seconds. Meaning you can literally watch bamboo grow. With enough patience, you can sit in front of a bamboo plant in bloom and watch the growth of this life. You’ll notice that the rate of growth is steady, and suddenly – the plant begins to shake gently. The notch is being formed. The notch seen at different intervals in the plant make the bamboo strong, giving it the strength to be a wonderful tool or a deadly weapon. You’ll notice that while this notch is being formed, the bamboo appears to suffer. In its own way, its life is suffering. Not the way we suffer, but suffering nonetheless. The bamboo does not waiver. The bamboo does not slow. The bamboo does not give up. The suffering passes and the growth is apparent: The strongest parts of the bamboo are made from the greatest moments of suffering.
We are made from our greatest moments of suffering. What we choose to do with that suffering is what shapes us; this decision pushes our consciousness forward or halts it altogether.
Personal Suffering
When I was four years old, I was diagnosed with cancer in a stage four Wilm’s Tumor in my left kidney. I underwent chemotherapy for two years, seven sessions of radiation, seven blood transfusions, and a six-and-a-half-hour surgery in which the doctors removed my kidney. My heart also stopped on the operating table for about 18 seconds.
But my journey with cancer did not end there. At 16 years old, I began to have excruciating stomach pains and went to the emergency room. As the doctors operated, presuming they were treating appendicitis, they realized that my small intestines had become entangled, attempting to occupy the space left by missing kidney. And my cancer was back.
In my angst and adolescent mindset, misunderstanding everything that was coming my way, I refused treatment. I wanted to fight this myself. Believe it or not, cancer actually let me be after that fight was over.
At first. Three years later, I was diagnosed with a Stage One Basil Cell Carcinoma on my back. Skin cancer felt like a cakewalk in comparison to the first two.
Going through cancer, in repetition, while I was attempting to understand the world gave me an incredible amount of perspective and insights that I am truly grateful for to this day. It shaped my life. It molded my mindset. It gave me the picture to the puzzle I didn’t know existed, the true purpose of this life: it’s not about you.
I spent so much time in my youth fighting with the demons in my head and being angry with God or the Universe or anything I could possibly think of. I spent so much time racking my brain trying to understand why I was being put through so much anguish and hardship, trials and tribulations, at such a young age. I hadn’t done anything that would warrant karmic retribution such as this. I had always treated people kindly. Why on earth was this on me?
Then a moment of clarity came, as if the window had been opened in my stuffy hospital room that had become more of a home than my own room. This moment was so profound that it has become the single motivation for everything I do in this life today.
It was never about me. It was never about suffering or punishment. No suffering ever brought upon a human is ever for the sake of punishment. It is always for a lesson. A lesson that contributes to the betterment of humanity, if you let it. Our life lessons can change the world.
Shaping Our Consciousness
Suffering is terrible. I know. Making the decision to choose love and positivity while undergoing inexpressible suffering is insidiously difficult. This decision is what shapes our consciousness. As we choose love and positivity during times of great suffering, we raise our consciousness to higher planes. Our mindset begins to shift and adjust as a different reality begins to form before our eyes. Our lives become better in ways that we couldn’t have ever imagined. Our interactions with other humans become increasingly positive.
Remember that suffering can come at different levels of intensity, and in a myriad of ways. What you respond to is how you shape your consciousness. You have the ability to respond to everything around you. How you respond is how you raise or halt your growth. This is an ongoing process and it requires discipline.
You are disciplined enough to continue to push your consciousness forward, if you have made it this far in your journey. It’s okay to falter, but remember to always accept responsibility, ownership, and honor, as these are the qualities that will continue to align with our conscious growth.
Your Responsibility
As this year draws to an end, know that this is not the end of great suffering. Much like bamboo, we will need to undergo more suffering in order to grow.
As you proceed, know this: you have suffered greatly, and you are still here. On some level of your sentience, you chose positivity and love. Your consciousness grew. How much does not matter. What matters is that it did. It grew; you grew; you enhanced your life. Continue to think about the positive changes that have occurred since the very beginnings of your suffering. Connect the dots all the way through until you reach an event that is satisfactory for you. You will always be able to look back and see how your consciousness shaped the reality that we perceive as our lives.
Remember this as you move forward with your growth: you have a responsibility to the changes that occur. Change is inevitable and everlasting - but so will your rewards be should you choose positivity and love. It is your responsibility to continue to shape your consciousness.
Richard Landeau is a writer living in California.
