Christians, Invest in the Lives of Foster Youth

The statistics can be demoralizing to youth who grew up in the foster care system. The National Foster Youth Institute reports that 23,000 young adults emancipate out of foster care every year. Unfortunately, 20% of these vulnerable adults and former foster youth will instantly experience homelessness. Only 50% gain steady employment and less than 3% earn a college degree during any time in their lives.

I was in the foster care system for five and a half years before I aged out of the system, but I was blessed by a church and community that embodied James 1:27. Thanks to them, I'm not explicitly affected by these statistics. There's more work to be done to help those currently or formerly in the foster care system. November is National Adoption Awareness Month, and regardless of whether adoption is the right decision for you or your family, I hope that my story leads you to consider the ways the ministry of adoption can bless you and others.

In my final foster home, my foster mother reflected the love of Christ, took me to church, and answered my persistent questions about religion, Christianity, and God. It was through her ministry and many other circumstances that I came to believe Christ to be Lord over my life.

After I turned eighteen, I moved out of that home. Though I experienced homelessness after emancipating out of the foster care system, someone always provided me with a place to lay my head at night. I slept in basements covered in mold that caused me to have intense allergic reactions, on cold floors snuggled up to borrowed space heaters, and in overcrowded beds I occasionally fell off of, but it was better than sleeping under a cold bridge. 

I tried my best not to complain about my lack of comfortable sleep, but when my church community asked, I told them the truth about my situation. In the meantime, my relationship with my biological mom was distant due to her mental illness and the past abuse I endured, and she became jealous of the closeness I gained with various members of the church. Out of spite, my mom threatened to hurt them and their families if they offered me a place to live. Despite the threats, a graceful woman, Tonya, opened her home to me. For the rest of my senior year of high school, as I finished my academics and track season, I slept in a warm bed and safe house. 

My relationship with Tonya and her family grew and I experienced a sweet belonging. From my biological family, I learned what unhealthy patterns and negative behaviors I wanted to avoid in my own future family. But I only knew what I did not want. I didn,t know what godliness or how to create healthy patterns in relationships. As I lived with Tonya's family, I observed her kind and gentle example as a Christian, wife, and mother. I gained knowledge about what I hoped for in my marriage and family and saw firsthand what it means to be a woman of God.

Though many people in the community told me I would fall into the saddening statistics of foster care, my coach, a father figure in my life, not only helped me get a job, but reassured me that I was not a statistic. He constantly expressed that I was capable of winning the state track meet and attending college on a track scholarship, although I had never been to the state championship individually before. With his constant encouragement and help, I became a five time state champion and attained a full ride scholarship.

I found a loving community who demonstrated the love of Christ, but there are many people like me who still need support. According to the Adoption Network, there are 107,918 foster children waiting to be adopted. We can all agree that children deserve a safe and permanent home with a loving family. I strongly advocate for adoption because of the mental and physical stability it offers vulnerable children, but it is crucial to emphasize that the ministry of adoption is broader than permanent custody. And if we view the ministry of adoption with a wider vision, we can see that God blesses each of us differently through adoption, whether it is through foster care, mentorship, or other means.

I know the idea of becoming a foster parent can seem heartbreaking. The objective of foster care, oftentimes, is to reunify children with their parents. I hear people say all the time, "I just couldn't give them back. I'm scared I will get too attached." 

I try to respond in a gentle tone, "But isn't it scarier that these kids live without the love a family, that they may never experience the example of a healthy family model, and that they might never know or experience the love of Christ? That's so scary to me." As Christians, we should be more concerned about children's salvations and livelihoods than about our broken hearts. That is Christ-like sacrifice. 

But not everyone is called to foster or adopt children, and while some struggle to understand this, it should serve as an opportunity to do good in other, perhaps more meaningful, ways. The people who impacted my life the most never legally adopted me nor did they give me care packages or bags to pack my belongings in. Vulnerable youth need an army of willing people, not material things to make up for the losses they've had. Coaches, moms, dads, wives, husbands, teachers, and business owners in the Church, who educated themselves about the risks of vulnerable youth, discipled me through godly example, and encouraged me by consistently speaking truth into my life. The ministry of adoption and "care for orphans" is broader than legal adoption. 

As The Father adopted each of us to receive His unmerited favor, we can offer a glimpse of His grace and love through committing ourselves to the education of vulnerable youth and offering the services and gifts God has lavished each of us individually, whether it is through permanent custody, temporary care, mentorship, or continuing on in our own lives so that a child who has never seen Christ may catch a glimpse of Him through us. James 1:27 is a ministry we are all called to embody, maybe through legal and permanent adoption, or maybe by some other way that God has for you to show love to those in distress.

Tori Petersen is a wife, mom, and writer residing in Minnesota. Having grown up in the foster care system, she uses her story to inspire and inform others about the foster and adoptive community. You can follow Tori on Instagram at @torihopepetersen or on her blog at TorisStoris.wordpress.com.