Against “God Alone”

A few years ago, I had some routine surgery. Something went wrong in recovery. The nurses on the floor couldn’t fix it. They couldn’t find the specialist. It was Sunday. The pain steadily increased and, after three hours, became unbearable. A successful intervention was finally made after five hours, but not before I nearly blacked out in agony. “Blackness” is the word. For several hours, I thrashed in a tremendous struggle and stream of moaning appeals, amid an emptiness that seemed to contain only God and me. Just the two of us in the darkness. I had never felt such horror.