Feeling Adrift in Jewish Spaces

I saw a movie once where a drug addict decides he needs to get clean. The scenes that follow show him struggling to get himself into a program to help. At one point he is openly frustrated and the intake lady says to him something to the effect of "you did drugs for so long but woke up today and decided to get clean so the world needs to just stop for you?" I note this because I know that my movement away from Jewish institutions and organizations is my own fault. But I've been trying to find my way back for a long time now and I rarely seem to get any closer.