LDS Perspective on the Philosophy of Marriage

Iam sometimes asked by Latter-day Saints and others how to  "balance" a faithful commitment to truths about marriage and sexual morality with love for LGBT+ persons. In one sense, the question is reasonable. It springs from the laudable desire to affirm persons who "identify" as LGBT+. Such persons, as all persons, are made in the image and likeness of God, and they deserve love and friendship. But in another sense, the idea that there is a "balancing" that needs to be done is misguided—very fundamentally so. It would make sense if one bought into LGBT+ identitarianism, but that, it seems to me, is a mistake. The LGBT+ movement presupposes that a certain "sexual orientation" or "gender identity" is central to who one is. It insists that the "I" or "me" demanding and deserving affirmation and love is the "I" or "me" whose essence is constituted in an important way by a certain sexual orientation or gender identity. As we often hear, "If you do not affirm me as, say, lesbian, transgender, etc., you are not affirming (and not loving) me."