Most churches do their best to be welcoming places for strangers and non-believers, but there are concrete reasons that church membership in the US is declining, according to a March 2021 Gallup poll. Many families today do not see the inside of a church except for Easter and Christmas. Why aren't they returning, after hearing what are no doubt uplifting messages on these two important holidays? As a Christian whose church attendance in the past has been spotty, I offer some insights in my new book, "The Pretend Christian: Traveling Beyond Denomination to the True Jesus." In it, I examine three possible causes for declining church membership and engagement.