The Big Idea: “How dare you call into question who I am and what I stand for?” Who among us really likes to hear criticism or judgment of our deepest convictions? It threatens us and can hurt us…especially when we experience it as a critique not only of our ideas but of who we are—or aspire to become! And let’s be honest: For most of us, that—our very selves—is precisely what we (with perhaps more than a little justification) feel is at stake when it comes to serious disagreements over family, politics, economics, religion, art, morality, and individual distinctions of sexuality, gender, race, capacity, and personality.
When so much is perceived to be at stake, our fight-or-flight instincts kick in, and the conversation often stops before it even starts.
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