I've been doing a lot of apologizing since I left Mormonism, and it's still really hard — but maybe not for the reasons you think.
It's not because I'm proud and can't humble myself (at least I don't think that's what's going on). It's because when I realize I've really screwed up, I don't feel like I deserve forgiveness. I also don't believe in the atonement of Jesus Christ anymore, that someone else suffered for my sins and that I can just miraculously access that by going through a religious process of repentance, acknowledging my sin, confessing if necessary to an authority figure, promising to never do it again, and then — never doing it again.
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