I had my second consecutive miscarriage three days before Rosh Hashanah. Like the first, it was an early pregnancy prior to the heartbeat phase—the sort they refer to as a “chemical pregnancy,” as if that will make you feel better about losing the hope of a baby.
If there is a single theme to the Torah and Haftarah readings on Rosh Hashanah, it is fertility and infertility. On the first day of the holiday, we read the story of Sarah, who is finally remembered by God and granted a son at the age of 90. Sarah’s infertility had filled her with bitterness, estranging her from her husband and causing her to laugh when God promises her that she will have a child. Even in her moment of joy, when Isaac is finally born, she fears for him and herself, and for their future status.
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