When news broke about the attacks at mosques in New Zealand, it felt horribly familiar to me. That's because several years ago, I aspired to bomb a mosque, and I came close to doing it.
I'm a white American. I grew up in the rust belt, attended church camp, joined the Marine Corp after high school, and ultimately retired from the Army. I fought around the globe, including in the Middle East and Somalia. I decided my enemy was Islam. I'm proud of my service, but I'm not proud of everything I did. There comes a time when you've seen and done too much to let it go. After my final deployment, it seemed like vodka and my hatred for Muslims were what was keeping me alive.
So I devised a plan: Build a homemade bomb and set it off outside the Islamic center in my hometown of Muncie. In my hate-fueled mind, this was the final thing I would do for my country. I knew I would face the death penalty, but I didn't care.
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