A few years ago, during the height of that anyone-can-start-an-app meshugas, some people I know began talking about a shiva app. Jews are busy today, the crux of their pitch to me went, and the experience of sitting in a house for eight whole days was ripe for Silicon Valley's brand of disruption. What if they could digitize the essential parts of the shiva experience? With the help of videoconferencing, social networking, and crowdsourced-support materials, you could get the benefit of a shiva, delivered right to the palm of your hand, without all that inconvenient … sitting.
“OK,” I said, “but what about the babka?”
Seriously, did these fools think about the babka, which would presumably have to be delivered to the virtual shiva somehow, either as some idiotic babka emoji, or a real babka sent by courier, to be consumed alone by the bereaved, along with various other Amazon and e-commerce gifts of condolence, in what would undoubtedly be the saddest goddamn excuse for a shiva in modern history? A babka sitting at a table uneaten at a virtual shiva is a thought so tragic it deserves a shiva of its own.
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