The psychotherapist Mark Epstein is known for lucidly mapping the ways in which Buddhism can enrich Western approaches to psychology. In his books, starting with the publication of “Thoughts Without a Thinker” in 1995, the philosophies and practices of those worlds are in fruitful conversation.
In his private practice, until recently, Mr. Epstein consciously kept the two apart.
“I always felt that it would be a real mistake to lay any kind of ideology on my patients, even one that I believed in,” he said of his Buddhism. “I didn't want to be pushing anybody toward something that they didn't want.”
As Mr. Epstein's books gained him visibility, some new patients would come to him specifically looking for some of that Buddhist ideology, but still he remained wary of providing it. If anything, he enjoyed puncturing people's preconceptions about the Eastern tradition. “No one really understands emptiness or ‘no-self' the way they might,” he said. “I can't say I do either. But it's fun to try to find where people are misunderstanding and then tweak it a little bit.”
Mr. Epstein's latest book, “Advice Not Given: A Guide to Getting Over Yourself,” was published this week. It is concerned with the “untrammeled ego,” which Freud and the Buddha both identified as “the limiting factor in our well-being,” Mr. Epstein writes.
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While it's in keeping with his previous work, tonally and substantively, it holds a distinct place in the author's mind. It was inspired, in part, by the 2008 death of his father, Franklin H. Epstein, an academic physician, from brain cancer at 84.
In the weeks after his father's disease had been diagnosed, Mr. Epstein said, “I realized that I had never had a direct conversation with him about any of what I had learned from Buddhism. He was proud of me as a doctor and liked my books, but he wasn't drawn to it. But then I thought, ‘Oh no, he's going to die and I've never even really tried to convey what's helped me about anticipating death from meditation, from Buddhism.' ”
That worry drove Mr. Epstein to pick up the phone and call his father. It was also the first germ for the contents and the title of “Advice Not Given,” in which he offers counsel that he might previously have kept to himself. “This stuff has helped me so much, I don't want to be withholding it” from patients “out of some sense of not being too pushy,” he said.
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