Among those who go in for demonic possession, there’s some debate as to whether objects can host evil spirits. According to the very Protestant site Got Questions?, the answer is no. “There is no biblical support for the idea that demons can attach themselves to physical objects. This belief is actually part of the superstitious practices and occult beliefs found in animistic cultures and among those who practice the occult,” the site says. Haunted houses and the like are just so much Halloween hokum. Okay, but try saying that as you observe the workings of my soon-to-be-vacated bachelor pad's washing machine. It's every bit as terrifying as a 12-year-old Linda Blair in full head-spin mode.
The damned appliance is loud and impossible to balance. It crashes against the walls like a madman in a straight jacket, launching himself at the padded interiors. An unusually large number of socks seem to disappear there in its watery abyss when my roommates use it. It may or may not actually be possessed. But if such things are possible, Uncle Screwtape has taken up residence there. Rather than call the exorcist and inquire if he does machines, with the awkward conversation that would follow, I took the clothes hamper to the local laundromat instead. Regular trips became part of the routine.
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