On Sunday, January 11, TLC debuted My Husband’s Not Gay, a show about a small but increasingly uncloseted community living out its own complex form of sexuality. My Husband’s Not Gay profiles Mormon men living in Utah who openly acknowledge that they live with same-sex attraction (SSA), but who are married to women. The show follows three married couples in mixed-orientation relationships and one single man as they negotiate their sexual desires and religious convictions. The men are open about their attractions to other men, but they pursue relationships, including sexual relationships, with women, who support them and know fully of their attractions.
These men do not identify as homosexual. The particular terminology they and their wives use—“SSA, not gay” as one wife, Tanya, put it—comes directly from their church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS). In recent years, the LDS Church has struggled to be more sensitive and open around the issue of homosexuality, both outside the church and within the community, which is still dealing with the negative attention it received for its support of California’s Proposition 8, which prohibited same-sex marriages. Just last week, Mormon leaders announced they would support anti-discrimination protections for LGBT people—as long as such laws also protect religious liberty.
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