So I am 24 years old, and I've never had sex. I also don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs, and I don't drink coffee. I'm a Mormon. And I've lived in New York City for six years as a Mormon, and it is hard to be a Mormon here if you don't drink or if you don't do drugs, but it is especially hard to live in New York City if you don't have sex. Because I'm young and I wanna have relationships, and I wanna play too and, like, date and stuff. But unfortunately, because I don't have sex, the longest relationship I've ever been able to sustain is four weeks… and that was only because for two of them he was out of town.
There's this huge part of me that wants to be considered sexy. But if you're not selling sex, you really shouldn't advertise, and so I don't really ever get to come across as sexy. But one time I was at this vintage boutique, and I came across this 1940s slip. It was dark navy blue – lacy at the top and then silk – and it was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen. I tried it on, and I looked in the mirror, and I thought, Oh my gosh! I am sexy! Wow! Who knew I could be sexy? And so I bought it. I took it home, and I put it in a drawer, and no guy has ever seen me in it. But occasionally, late at night, I'll try it on and look in the mirror and think, I'm sexy!
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