In 2003, Brigham Young University-Provo student Sarah* began dating Rick, a just-returned missionary and “righteous priesthood holder” with the sort of spiritual resume that would make any Mormon mother-in-law proud. But despite his status in the Church, he was unable to stave off his lustful thoughts for her, which his religious faith taught him were sinful. His faith also taught him that they were Sarah’s fault.
Sarah felt so guilty for inspiring lust in a man of God that she sought her bishop’s guidance. She would read scripture and pray for long periods of time, hoping that somehow her actions would stop tempting her boyfriend. It wasn’t enough: The tipping point happened one evening after he complained about being “too tired” to take Sarah home. “He forcefully began removing my clothes,” Sarah says. “It’s difficult for me to go into too many details because even though I know that I was the victim, I still feel ashamed and embarrassed by what happened. I guess it wasn’t technically a rape, because he didn’t penetrate, but it is the worst most helpless moment of my life.”
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