What are popes good for? In the quarter-century I’ve been writing about Catholicism, I’ve learned that popes are good for the pope-arazzi and for a bit of exotica on the nightly news. On occasion, of course, they are good for producing reams of copy. Time’s Man of the Year! The cover of Rolling Stone! Ten thousand words of aggrieved vindication—“A Radical Pope’s First Year,” insists the recent tendentious headline—in The New Yorker! Apparently there is something about popes that a mass media otherwise skeptical of religious authority finds almost irresistible—which is why, from time to time, popes have even been good for getting me on television, called upon to comment on this or that papal action or utterance. Modern popes also function as job creators for church historians and for biographers. Wait a week, and we’ll get yet another instant life of Jorge Mario Bergoglio or collection of his table talk. How else would we know that Pope Francis was once a bouncer? Essential training, one presumes, for a guardian of orthodoxy.