Recent popes have taken to meeting with engaged and newly married couples to emphasize the importance of the family as the basic unity of society and church. To say, since the Second Vatican Council, that the church is a “communion of communions” is to say that the church is a family of families, as is society in general. To say this places one in some tension with the prevalent idea of marriage as, primarily, a means of personal growth and fulfillment for two partners.
What does Pope Francis say? He spoke on Valentine’s Day to 20,000 young people engaged to be married, responding to questions and gathering his teachings into three points, as he often does. First, he spoke of the fear of the “forever.” This fear of a definitive, life-long commitment weakens vocations to priesthood and religious life as well. The Holy Father said that, if “love” is only a feeling, there is no solid base for marriage. But if love is a relationship, then it can grow and develop in often unexpected ways. Marriage is a commitment to grow together, slowly, by small steps, grounded in the stable and eternal love of God. The pope told the engaged couples to pray each day, “Lord, give us today our daily love.” Like a good teacher, he asked them to repeat the prayer after him.
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