I was a very angry man. The problem was that I didn't know I was an angry man. My wife, Luella, knew that I was angry. My kids knew I was angry. But I didn't know. Luella was very faithful in bringing that anger before me with its resultant failures to love my family. She did it often and with much grace. But I would not listen. Again and again, I would wrap myself in robes of righteousness and tell her what a great husband I was. I said I would pray for her problem with discontentment. (That helped her!) I was a man in the midst of destroying my marriage, family, and ministry, and I didn't know it.
This is embarrassing to admit, but there was an occasion when Luella was confronting me and I said these deeply humble words: "Ninety-five percent of the women in our church would love to be married to a man like me." (Luella very quickly informed me that she was part of the 5 percent!) I was convinced that no one had a more accurate picture of me than I did. And in my blindness I also failed to see and fear the disaster that I was heading toward.
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