Increasingly, I believe our most important role as parents is to pray for our children. Too often, I find myself so concerned with providing for basic physical and emotional needs that I forget to do battle for their hearts in prayer.
Recently, I had lunch with my friend Sunny Thomas who is the mother of eight (three biological, five adopted). As we talked about the joys and challenges of mothering, I found our conversation kept coming back to prayer. She didn't offer helpful hints or simple solutions, just a humble admonition to get on my knees and pray fiercely for my kids.
When our children are all grown up and I'm looking back on their lives, I have a feeling I will realize my prayers mattered more than I would have ever expected.
Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much."”James 5:16
What am I praying for? Many things of course"”protection, healing and wisdom to be sure. But, mostly, I ask God to grow our children into men and women who hunger and thirst for righteousness, people passionately in love with him, who pursue the things of the Kingdom with all their hearts.
I don't know about you, but my best parenting days are insufficient toward that end, and the worst ones"”well, we don't even go there. Joel and I are not smart enough, patient enough or holy enough to accomplish so lofty a goal. We need to have the mind of Christ in us, be strengthened by his might, and be made effectual by his power. In other words, we can't do it alone.
Here are a few ways to be more purposeful about prayer:
1. Pray with Them
Make regular prayer a part of your family life. We have had great success praying on the way to school, as well as in the evening before bed. Normally, we have a time of more liturgical prayer which the kids know by heart, followed by each person bringing their daily needs before God.
As our children hear us pray for them and have the chance to offer their own prayers, they learn how to pray. They learn to invite God into their day and remember him as the hours go by. In short, they learn to live in his presence.
2. Stop, Drop and Pray
Don't confine prayer to morning and evenings though. When you or your children find yourselves in a situation where you don't know how to proceed, stop and pray out loud.
Whether you ask God to release a child in the grip of a night terror or one struggling to be obedient, stop and ask God to intervene. This affirms to your child that we depend on God to lead and guide us in every moment of our lives.
3. Pray in Community
Historically, the church required children who were to be baptized to have godparents. Godparents become part of a child's spiritual family, tasked primarily with praying on their behalf.
Even if your child doesn't have godparents, ask those who love God and love them"”grandparents, aunts and uncles, and friends"”to commit to pray for them. When spiritual concerns, attacks of the enemy, or difficult circumstances arise in their lives, call in the troops. You can't do this alone.
4. Don't Rely on Your Own Words
What do you do when your words run out and your wisdom fails? Pray the old prayers. The oldest Christian churches have beautiful prayers written for parents and children. Don't worry if the slightly more elevated language isn't what you are used to. Instead, rest in fact that you are agreeing with parents throughout time who have used those words to bring their children to the feet of Christ.
Click here to see a sampling of prayers for families.
Perhaps our most powerful parenting moments are the ones spent on our knees. How have you seen prayer transform your parenting?
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June 27, 2011
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