Adoption Is Christian Faith in Action

Posted in Personal and Family on 01. Sep, 2010

On Monday I applied for my passport. I've traveled throughout the lower forty-eight, been to this place and that, but I've never gone abroad. I hope to go soon.

Megan and I are planning on adopting from Uganda. We're working on our paperwork now. There are letters and reports and statements and evaluations and more. We're almost done. But it's been a long road so far.

We started looking at domestic adoption back in January. We jumped through those hoops and remain very grateful for the help our agency lent us in the process. We did the paperwork, the interviews, the background checks, all of it. And then we hit the pause button.

We started talking about adoption when we were dating. I remember the first time we discussed it. It was one of the moments I knew that we were right for each other. Megan and I mesh in a million ways, but when you're just starting a relationship there's a certain tentativeness, hesitation, and provisionality to things. What if she says the wrong thing? What if I say the wrong thing? Tomatoh or, cringe, tomatah?

Megan tossed out the idea and waited to see if I'd freak out. Far from it. I was already inclined toward the idea. There is so much of the Gospel wrapped up in adoption. Through Christ we're adopted into the family of God. As an extension and picture of that, true religion is "visit[ing] orphans and widows in their affliction"�."� Adoption is Christian faith in action.

The conversation was invigorating. At that moment we knew something definitive about each other, something affinitive about each other, too. It was a soft-focus scene, I can tell you. (The grace of it all, if I'm allowed a bit more gushing, is that we ended up being right for each other in more ways than we could have guessed or anticipated at the time. Wow.)

But there we were. Pause button. There are several reasons we cooled on the domestic adoption idea, all of which could probably slide under the header of a certain disquiet about things. Domestic adoption is good and admirable"”and older children and sibling groups especially need loving arms and homes. When you see the traits that make a child difficult for an agency to place, it'll break your heart in two. But Megan and I couldn't get peace about it. Maybe we were wrong about things, after all.

We disengaged from the process.

But then, out of the blue, some doors began opening up to Africa. That lit the fires. Megan had been to Uganda about ten years before (she's much better traveled than am I), and that trip sparked her passion for adoption in the first place. Suddenly we started thinking about Africa. Uganda is tricky, and Ethiopia at first seemed like a better option, but Uganda kept pulling at us. We read blogs. We viewed pictures. We watched videos. Every hope you have in life is confirmed by those stories.

We've been exploring the options there, and doors continue to open. When one way turned out blocked, several others came into view. We have peace about Uganda. And excitement.

So there I was standing at the passport counter at my local post office, the clerk's hands flipping through papers, stamping this, signing that, and then suddenly placing in my upturned palms a receipt and some additional documents. It was done. My application was filed.

I'll have my passport in a few weeks, and the whole journey now feels very real.

I am so grateful we’re on this road together. It’s is a joy and an adventure to watch God’s plans for our family unfold. I love you!

Love you too, babe. I’m blessed beyond words.

Can’t believe you’ve never been abroad. So excited for you guys in this season.

I know. I’m pretty jazzed.

This is very exciting, Joel. My wife went to Uganda for two weeks in July. It was an inflection point in her life. She’s going to be very excited to hear about this.

That’s fantastic. We should hook up and chat.

Thank you!!! I wish more Christians thought like this. My wife and I are outcasts at our church because we have no desire to have our own children but would rather foster or adopt middle or high school aged kids. We want to have almost a revolving door of getting one kid into college or a good job and bring in the next kid.

Within our church we are constantly being asked about our kids and when we say that we don’t have any, the conversation ends and the ones asking about our kids go talk to other people that have kids.

Thank you for this blog post. I hope lots of people read it!

That’s very disheartening. The truth is that kids the ages you’re discussing need families and there are few families for them. One of the reasons that domestic (and foreign, for that matter) adoptions take so long is that everyone wants healthy babies. From what I’ve seen the real orphan crisis is with kids that are older and basically unwanted. If you feel called to that, I can think of few things more Christlike than pouring your life into those kids.

Hi Joel

Congratulations to you and Megan for starting out on this! My wife and I have adopted 2 kids now in Tanzania where we are living and working. Dealing with the system can be a challenge but so worth it!

Something I would really like to advise if I may? I’m sure your agency will advise this stuff but we’ve found it useful to follow.

For us it’s really important to get to know the Ugandan language, culture and people as much as possible. We’ve found that our kids need anchor points. If they’re orphans with no family history, their family history starts with you guys, and that can be tough as they get older. Feeling connected to where they came from will be really important. We’re in a much easier position because we’re living in country, but we’re committed once we do get repatriated to visiting once a year. We try to embrace Tanzanian culture and language in our home. We also try to connect our kids with role models who are Tanzanians.

Anyway, I’m sure you will have lots of support and advice as you get going. I wish you guys all the best with it! Enjoy your first trip to Africa – the flight is a bit of a long one from the US )

We have heard some of these things and really appreciate hearing more. Our ears are wide open and we’re wanting to learn.

I’m really excited for you Joel. I agree wholeheartedly with you in that adoption is Christian faith in action (James 1:27). This is something that I am passionate about.

If you don’t mind me asking, can you provide a little more detail on the “Pause” at domestic adoption? I sometimes struggle with this because I see a lot of Christians almost make international adoption glamorous and noble while children in our own cities go without mothers and fathers (not saying that this is the case with you at all).