PROVO, Utah — No Mormon expects to get divorced, especially if the couple was married in an LDS temple.
But the reality is that even some LDS temple marriages are ending. And if no one is looking to protect the assets, either or both parties and the children could suffer economically for years.
Margaret Pickard, a Las Vegas-based attorney who trains divorce court judges and serves as a family law mediator, told her BYU Campus Education Week audience that she isn't an advocate for divorce.
"It is hard," she said. "I know. I used to teach without experience. Then I went through a divorce."
Pickard said the fastest-growing marital status in America currently is that of divorced people.
Eighty percent of divorcees divorce by the ninth year of marriage and have children between 2–7 years old. First marriages have a 40 percent failure rate while 60 percent of second marriages collapse. Seventy-five percent of third marriages don't succeed.
"Why is the divorce rate increasing?" Pickard asked. "It's more acceptable. Gender roles have changed. Females have more economic independence. No-fault divorce laws make it simpler to split."
With that in mind, Pickard said it's only prudent to look at safeguarding one's assets and thereby safeguarding one's future.
People need to be aware that most states split the community property — whatever is accrued during the marriage including retirement accounts and good will in a dental or doctor's practice — in half.
Real property such as a home or land, plus investments, stocks, bank accounts, cars, art and furniture, would also be divided in roughly equal amounts.
Spousal support, which could include alimony to a former husband, will be based on the financial situation, the age of children involved, earning capacity, the ability to pay and any major changes on the threshold such as graduation from college or the launching of a significant business venture.
One thing that often catches divorcing couples by surprise is the loss and cost of health insurance, Pickard said. COBRA is an option, but it is expensive.
Generally, the living standard for divorced women decreases and the man's increases, but not always, she said.
Alimony is tax-deductible while child support is not, and early withdrawals from a retirement account will be taxed heavily.
Credit ratings can suffer if either party racks up unpaid debt and both parties are on the account.
Notify creditors in writing of the change in status and freeze joint accounts, Pickard advised. Monitor accounts, and check with all three credit reporting companies to track what's happening.
Despite what court orders dictate, creditors usually come after both parties when bills come due, she said.
She suggested getting separate bank accounts and changing utility billing information.
The beneficiary on insurance policies will need to be changed as well as the names on a living will or trust.
It isn't easy to sort the finances with a spouse who is bitter or untrustworthy, she said, so it's unrealistic to expect couples to simply work it out when issues like children and money are high-anxiety.
"Get an attorney who's been there for someone you know," she said. "Prepare wisely. Think about the future."
A judge trying to divide marital assets has to work from documentation so it's critical to be prepared, Pickard said. "Keep records. Information is key."
Mediation is often a good answer because the court is pulled out of the picture and understandings reached between the divorcing parties usually hold up and are adhered to better.
e-mail: haddoc@desnews.com
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